Vulcans don't lie
by Ariana Paris
Summary: Spock has a thing about Kirk. Uhura thinks it's disgusting. Well, mostly.


**Series:** AOS  
**Codes:** S/U, K/S  
**Author's Note:** Wow, my first Trek story in 10 years, and my first fanfic in over 5 years. Big thanks to Sahviere for helping me dust off my writing skills.  
**Disclaimer: **The Star Trek universe is the copyrighted property of Paramount, and borrowed solely for the use of this story.

It all started when Kirk decided to run hand to hand combat classes for the bridge crew. This mainly consisted of him prancing about in the gym, challenging people to fight him, then pretending that it was all about teaching them a lesson and not him showing off.

"Remind me again why Starfleet made this dickhead captain," muttered Uhura, sidling up to Spock.

"Because Admiral Pike told them to," said Spock simply. "And he does have some intriguing qualities."

Uhura slid her hand into his and was surprised to sense that the Vulcan was aroused. For all his Vulcan upbringing, Spock was no good at hiding his feelings when they touched hands, which paradoxically made him the easiest to understand out of all the men she'd ever been with.

But Uhura immediately realised that the desire flapping about in his busy mind was not, for once, related to her. Following his gaze, she realised with amazement that Spock was looking at Kirk, who had just taken his shirt off, apparently for the sole purpose of showing off the Southern California tan he somehow maintained in deep space. Stunned, Uhura let Spock's desire for Kirk fizzle about in her brain for a moment before letting go of his hand.

"Since when do you have the hots for Captain Kirk?" Uhura asked Spock a few hours later.

They had just completed their routine round of pleasant, albeit rather mundane, lovemaking; Spock lifted his head from the pillow and looked at her in surprise. Or rather looked at her the way he normally looked at her, except one eyebrow was slightly raised.

"The 'hots'? Vulcans do not get the hots."

"Right. I also thought Vulcans didn't lie."

Uhura was torn between smacking him upside the head and playing the understanding girlfriend. On the whole, Spock was the best boyfriend she had ever had, so although she was sorely tempted to commit physical violence on him for daring to look at anyone else with desire, Uhura stroked his face and put on an expression of saintly understanding.

"I know you now," she said. "As Vulcans go, you've got to be the worst at controlling your telepathic thingy. I can tell when something turns you on. Like Kirk with his shirt off."

Spock tilted his head to one side for a moment and Uhura suddenly realised that he wasn't going to deny it, and this was not a conversation she wanted to have after all.

"Never mi--" she started.

"I will admit that I find him attractive," interrupted Spock calmly, as if he were commenting on something obvious like the darkness of space or the fact that the transporter room was too damn far away from the bridge.

"Great. I bag the only Vulcan in Starfleet and he turns out to be gay."

"I am not the only Vulcan in Starfleet, and your second pronouncement is equally untrue. I do not seek relationships with other males." Spock looked thoughtful. "I am merely… intrigued by Captain Kirk. But it is not a matter I intend to pursue. I believe this is as far as we need to go with this conversation."

Uhura had her doubts about his declaration, but the subject of her boyfriend's unexpected attraction to Kirk was pushed to the back of her mind for the next few weeks. The Enterprise's next mission sorely tested the crew, not least because Kirk decided that the best way to resolve the dispute at hand was to beam himself right into the middle of it.

Spock was left in charge of the ship for several hours, during which their idiot captain got captured and beaten up before somehow escaping and convincing both parties to come to their senses. Uhura was beginning to think that Starfleet had promoted Kirk purely to get him away from Earth, given his total disregard for any rules, and his irritating habit of getting away with it.

When the captain finally beamed back late in the night shift, after basking in the glory of the planet's accolades two hours longer than was strictly necessary, an irate Spock left the bridge to greet him in the transporter room. The Vulcan had a murderous glint in his eye, not unlike the look that had preceded his attempt to throttle Kirk during their first adventure together.

As Uhura had nothing better to do at this late hour with Spock unavailable for sex, she handed her station over to her night-shift replacement, and headed for the transporter room after him. Not too close behind, as she wanted Spock to get in a couple of good punches before she interrupted the fight that would no doubt erupt once the first officer had found his wayward captain.

Kirk and Spock were indeed having an argument when Uhura arrived, and whoever had beamed the captain aboard had decided that discretion was the better part of valour and scampered off, leaving the door open. Uhura decided not to interrupt after all - punches had not yet been thrown, and she was hoping Spock would finally tell their idiot captain a few home truths. However, she decided to stay, in case Spock needed an eyewitness to explain why he had murdered their captain after the considerable provocation of several weeks in his company.

Neither man appeared to notice her arrival, so Uhura slipped into the room, and stood in the corner behind the transportation console, where she would not be immediately visible to them thanks to the lights reflected on the transparent aluminium screen. She was looking forward to seeing how things went before making her presence known.

"As you well know, captain, Starfleet regulations require a captain to remain on board his ship. The purpose is to prevent him from transporting into danger and leaving his ship bereft of its commanding officer."

Kirk shrugged. "Oh, c'mon, Spock, captains do it all the time."

"Indeed," said Spock, raising one eyebrow. "And you base that statement on your considerable experience of service aboard starships, no doubt. You nearly got yourself killed!"

"Spock, I didn't know you cared," said Kirk with a smirk, turning away.

Although his face seemed impassive, Uhura could tell that Spock was furious. He grabbed Kirk's arm.

"You still refuse to see the seriousness of the situation you placed us in!"

"Look, I know you don't like taking command but--"

Had someone asked her to bet on the outcome of the exchange, Uhura would have placed a wager on Spock punching Kirk as he deserved. But she would have lost. Spock kissed him instead.

The sight made Uhura's head spin.

"Wow, I guess you do care," said Kirk when Spock stepped back.

Uhura could tell that Spock was struggling to hide his alarm at what he had just done. She was feeling considerable alarm herself, and although her natural instinct would have been to go and console Spock when he looked so dejected, the fact that she had just seen him kiss their commanding officer kept her rooted to the spot.

Spock half turned in her direction, and Uhura ducked down behind the transporter console, though she was unable to resist peering over the top to see what would happen next.

"I didn't know there were any gay Vulcans," continued Kirk, who on the whole, looked rather pleased.

"There aren't," said Spock, his composure recovered. "And I am not. I am in love with Lieutenant Uhura."

Uhura smiled tenderly at his declaration - though she would have preferred him to tell *her*, in private, and not blurt it out after he had just kissed Kirk, of all people.

In typical fashion, Kirk seemed to see the whole incident as further fodder for his ego.

"So you're just gay for me? I'm flattered."

"Yes, I'm sure you are. I think it would be best to leave things at that."

Spock headed toward the exit, bearing what Uhura privately thought of as his 'Oh my god' stance; shoulders hunched, head bowed as if he was about to head-butt someone. He didn't take more than a couple of steps before Kirk grabbed him and pulled him back, a confident smirk on his smartass face.

Spock immediately turned towards him -- far too eagerly for Uhura's liking -- and made no effort to stop Kirk from kissing him. This time, it was a full-on grownup kiss, with tongues and everything. Uhura didn't know whether to feel nauseous or extremely aroused.

Spock pulled away slightly, but allowed Kirk to hold him by the waist.

"On the topic of sexual orientation," said Spock, his voice even, though his face was flushed, "You do not appear to have any objection either."

Kirk pressed closer to Spock. "I make it a rule never to turn down offers of sex. Besides, all that stuff on the planet has made me horny as hell."

"If you enjoy being beaten up," said Spock sardonically, though his hands were pulling at Kirk's clothes, "I am sure that can be arranged."

"Shut up, you're turning me on," said Kirk with amusement as he helped Spock pull off his tunic and undershirt.

Spock was quick to follow suit, and Uhura was momentarily dazzled by the sight of the two bare-chested men embracing each other. This was not something she had ever expected to see, or indeed imagined that she wanted to see. But even Kirk was starting to look pretty good with Spock's pale hands rubbing his back.

The men turned, and it was now Spock's back she could see, Kirk's large hands exploring the lean muscles on either side of his spine. Uhura thought that too little was ever said about how beautiful a man's back could be; she had often watched Spock's naked back as he dressed in the morning, admiring its understated strength, the simple, masculine lines leading to the curve of his buttocks beneath.

But Kirk was the one enjoying that back, pressing his body against her lover, cupping his buttocks, slipping one hand down the back of his trousers. Uhura's mouth went completely dry as her over-stimulated brain offered several suggestions as to what Kirk's hand was doing down the back of Spock's trousers, none of which seemed quite as disgusting to her at this point as they normally should.

"I do not think penetration--" started Spock, and Uhura was amazed at how normal and like himself he sounded, despite being fondled by their commanding officer.

"Me neither," said Kirk, still rummaging about in Spock's trousers, though more to the front this time. "Too complicated. We'll do it next time."

He spun Spock around, backing him up against the far side of the transporter pad, and Uhura caught a fleeting glimpse of panic on Spock's face. Whether it was panic at the suggestion of penetration, the threat of Kirk doing this to him again, or simply a reaction to whatever Kirk was doing to him now, the panic was soon gone from Spock's face as he let out a familiar moan.

Hardly daring to move, Uhura raised herself slightly to get a better idea of what was going on, and then wished she hadn't. Simply seeing the rapid, repetitive movements of Kirk's elbow made it obvious why Spock had moaned.

Disgusted though she was at how Spock was letting himself be handled, Uhura was mesmerised by the expression on his face. The horizontal, chest-to-chest position they ordinarily practiced in their own lovemaking did not often allow her to see him clearly. In fact, he had a habit of burying his face in her neck when he was close to release, as if he needed to hide at the moment when all control was gone.

But now, Uhura could see his Vulcan mask slipping. Eyes closed, lips parted, Spock was giving in to his human desires. Uhura thought she had never seen anything so beautiful.

"Huh, guess some things work the same," said Kirk with a grin when Spock opened his eyes again, the moment over.

Spock leaned against the wall, staring into the middle distance as he refastened his trousers, perhaps considering the consequences of what Kirk had just done to him. Kirk moved to one side to run his hand over Spock's naked torso, tracing the contours of his hairy chest.

Uhura needed a drink; all the moisture in her mouth seemed to have migrated to another part of her anatomy. Never mind what Kirk was doing to that gorgeous body, Spock was in love with *her* and Uhura promised herself she would make the most of it the next time she got her hands on him.

"I hate to interrupt your Vulcan thoughts," said Kirk, pressing his lips to Spock's neck. "But don't you think you could do something about *this*?"

Spock came back to his senses. He glanced downwards.

"Fascinating," he commented, not without a hint of amusement.

Kirk seemed unfazed by Spock's sarcasm. "Yeah, I often think so." He gave Spock a cheeky grin. "Why don't you take a closer look?"

"Not that fascinating," said Spock, though judging by the change in Kirk's expression, he was indeed doing 'something about *this*'.

"It wouldn't take very long," Kirk insisted, though his voice sounded rather strangled.

Spock continued what he was doing for a moment, alternatively observing the contents of his hand and the look on Kirk's face. Uhura couldn't help but be amused by the studious expression Spock wore, though her amusement faded when he apparently decided that he did want a closer look after all.

Spock vanished from view, and Uhura was left with the sight of Kirk enjoying himself immensely. Hiding behind the console, Uhura's mind replayed what she had seen so far, and she wondered whether she would be able to crawl unseen out of the room and go back to her quarters for a much needed shower and change of underwear.

On the other hand, this was a unique opportunity to see her lover in a different light. At least Uhura hoped it would remain unique, and that Spock wasn't planning to repeat this any time soon. On the assumption that she might never get another chance to see what he was doing, and driven by an inexplicable desire to seize the opportunity, Uhura peered over the top of the console. And saw exactly what was going on, in vivid detail.

At least Kirk was as good as his word, and was shouting "Oh yes!" and various profanities within what was probably less than a minute. Having seen Spock at work, Uhura couldn't blame him. She sank back down behind the console, her breathing heavy and her head full of images that should not have been as exciting as they were.

"Ah shit, why did you have to use *my* shirt?"

"May I point out that it is mainly your mess?"

"Yeah, uh, what's up with that, anyway?"

"Vulcan biology does not allow unnecessary waste."

Uhura smiled at the stunned silence that followed Kirk's discovery of a peculiarity of Vulcan physiology that she had found rather pleasing.

"So you don't need to, um, recharge your power cells, so to speak? I mean after… you can just go again?"

"Captain, if you want a lesson on the Vulcan reproductive system, I can suggest several medical papers which may answer your questions."

"I'd rather conduct my own experiments," said Kirk suggestively. "Seeing as I have a test subject under my hands."

"The answer to your question is 'no'. I require a rest before I 'go again'."

Uhura could certainly attest to him needing a rest. Adorable and sexy though he might be, Spock didn't usually make much effort once both their needs were satisfied.

"Yeah, well, I wish you hadn't used *my* undershirt."

"Under the circumstances, I thought it logical to let you explain its state to the laundry."

"Gee, thanks. They already think I'm a -- well, anyway, uh, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, we have a meeting at 0700."

"0700?" exclaimed Kirk. "Shit. I need some sleep!"

Uhura tried to make herself as small as possible as the captain, wearing only his yellow tunic and carrying his soiled undershirt, hurried out of the transporter room. Hoping that Spock would soon follow him, Uhura stayed perfectly still, closing her eyes like a child trying to hide.

When she opened her eyes, Spock was crouching beside her, still naked to the waist, the dark hairs on his olive skin glistening with sweat.

They stared at each other for a moment; Spock apparently as tongue-tied as Uhura herself.

"How did you know I was here?" she asked finally.

"You are my mate," said Spock as if it were obvious. "I can always sense when you are close to me." He wiped his torso self-consciously with the shirts he was carrying. "I hope that little display was to your satisfaction?"

"What do you mean, *my* satisfaction?"

"You seemed intrigued by my desire for Captain Kirk," said Spock, his tone even as always. "Since the opportunity arose and you were near, I thought it might entertain you."

"You… you…" Uhura struggled to find the right term. "You kinky bastard!"

Spock looked annoyed. "I believe it has been established that humans who are taught to repress their emotions as children often grow up displaying a tendency to unusual sexual activity. As I am half human myself, I presume this is the reason for my own desire for non-reproductive practices. There seems little point in fighting these desires if I have a mate who is willing to indulge them."

He spoke so earnestly that Uhura just had to laugh.

"So you thought seducing your captain in front of your girlfriend was logical?"

"I am aware that you have found our activities disappointing," he said, sounding a little hurt that she didn't seem to appreciate his initiative.

"Well, you could be a little more imaginative sometimes." Uhura stroked his chest. "That was a little extreme, but I can't deny that I found it… interesting."

Spock's mouth twitched into the half-smile that indicated intense amusement. "I could definitely sense that. It is good to know it was an activity we both enjoyed."

He leaned forward, intending to kiss her, but Uhura pushed him away.

"Don't you dare kiss me with that mouth!"

"Perhaps a different location than your own mouth would be acceptable?" asked Spock as if he had just enquired about the status of a level two diagnostic. "But I suggest that we relocate to my quarters first."

Spock hooked one arm under Uhura's bent knees and the other around her waist, and lifted her effortlessly off the ground.

"Didn't you just tell Kirk you needed a rest?"

Spock lifted one eyebrow as he carried her out of the transporter room.

"Nyota, Vulcans do lie sometimes."


End file.
